First time – shame on you ….. second time – shame on me?
That’s how it goes, right?
First, if you are a victim – document, document, document. It’s not easy to admit to anyone – police, doctor, friends, family and especially yourself, that you have allowed yourself to been a victim of spousal abuse, but make sure you have the necessary documentation, it will prove to be invaluable!!!
Beyond he said, she said……
Secondly, abuse strikes at the very heart of your own core, especially for the woman that swore “that will never happen to me”. People will claim to not believe it – but I have learned, especially in this divorce, that you will never know someone until you live with them. When people tell me that they can’t believe that I was a victim of physical abuse, because I’m a pretty strong person BUT they also have a hard time believing it because of the “image’ that STBE puts forward. Unless you have been around a drug addict/alcoholic, you’ll never understand the inner workings of a drug addict’s mind. I really am tired of bringing this up – it is what it is. He beat me up, he apologized, and we move forward. Although the beating wasn’t witnessed, his apology was overhead. Unknown to me, the child has watched STBE doing drugs for years – child is NO stranger to the bizarre happenings!! I think it was child’s knowledge that finally made me realize that it was unhealthy for child. (Unfortunately, although he admitted the drug addiction, he refused any assistance until it was too late) He knows he did it, I know he did it and God knows he did it – so whether he wants to admit it to others, is not my business. I have pictures of the bruises. I discussed the incident when I asked for help with the addiction problem that we were having inside our marriage. Again, it happened…whether he wants to admit it or not.
I am beyond chewing this shit again. First time, shame on you……second time? THERE WON’T EVER BE A SECOND OPPORTUNITY!!!
AND BECAUSE HE WAS AN ALCOHOL INFUSED DRUG ADDICT, I HAD PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITY TO PAY HIM BACK, MY MOTHER USED TO JOKE, “YOU HAVE TO SLEEP SOMETIME!”, I’M NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON, I WOULD NEVER HAVE HURT HIM – I COULD HAVE….. HE ASKED ME TO SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD MORE THAN ONCE!!! I AM SO BLESSED TO BE AWAY FROM THE CRAZINESS!!!
